Change

Where to Go When You Just Can’t Stop

Blog_HelpAfter multiple times telling my daughter to shut down her video game, I was beyond exasperated. “If you don’t shut it down, I’ll do it for you,” I warned, hand poised to take control of the computer mouse.

“Would you please, Mommy?” She pleaded, hand glued to the mouse. “‘Cause I can’t STOOOOOOOP!”

The scene reminds me of all the times I’ve felt powerless to change apart from divine intervention. My attention is so easily divided, my affections so quickly diverted. It’s like the Apostle Paul said of his struggles, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

The good news is that change is possible. With Paul, we may cry, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” But God has promised to rescue us from the hand of those stronger than we are. In other words, those habits we hate yet can’t escape—God is able to set us free.

Just as my daughter recognized her inability to let go of that which so gripped her attention, and just as she asked me for help—we have a God who sympathizes with our every weakness, and gives us power to change. If we need help, all we have to do is ask.

“Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ my Lord.” (Romans 7:25)

When it’s Time for a Change

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I’ll always remember the first time I decided to make a change in my life. It was nothing profound, yet it was a challenge because when you’re young who you are is often tied up in what you do. Change meant letting go of something that had become part of my identity. Still, that minor revolution in my high school years taught me something important that has resonated through the years to follow.

My dad was a coach, so my older sisters and I spent much of our childhood frequenting basketball courts and football stadiums. As a result, my sisters gravitated toward cheerleading. I followed like a little duckling, though it was something I endured more than enjoyed. I was never really good at it—just cheerful enough to make the squad. And I didn’t exactly like the weekly routine of freezing out of my skin and screaming at the top of my lungs all for the glory of the game. Not to mention that all but two of the girls on the squad were the stereotypical mean girls.

It wasn’t until my junior year in high school that I decided to stop torturing myself. Why waste my time doing something I didn’t enjoy and wasn’t good at all because it was what my sisters did, what I’d always done, or what was expected of me? The time for change had come. And the only thing I regretted was not having done it sooner.

From that experience, I learned to never waste my time doing what I clearly wasn’t wired to do, and to never be afraid to change. It doesn’t matter what people expect or what your past dictates. Life is too short to be squandered on things that steal your purpose.

Because of that choice, I’ve found what I’m truly passionate about: music, writing, and teaching. And I’ve been more sensitive when seasons shift—unafraid to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new. I know now that change means leaving behind the known and embracing the unknown, which is most often the pathway to what’s best.

 

The Gift of Loss

Blog_FlowersIt was the perfect job. The pay was low but sufficient, the hours enough to keep me busy but not overwhelmed. And the opportunity to stay home with my kids outweighed the benefits I didn’t receive. Everything was good until the organization I was working for unexpectedly discontinued funding for the contract.

Fear and depression threatened to take hold. What would we do without the extra income? Where would I find another job that wouldn’t detract from my family? And why did this happen so suddenly?

Somewhere in the midst of it, I stopped checking my email for word of a renewed contract. It was time to move on. As good as the job was, I had to admit it wasn’t my life’s passion. What had come as an unexpected storm was truly a wake up call.

In a scene C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy, the main characters are chased by a lion they’re certain is bent on destruction. It’s not until journey’s end that they realize the lion was chasing them to their destiny while protecting them from the real enemy. In life, trials can be like that lion—pushing us out of our comfort zones, into the place we truly belong while protecting us from that which drains our life.

Looking back, I now see how losing that job was truly a gift. It pushed me to reassess my life, my goals, and my desires. As a result, I’ve had an abundance of needful, quality time with my children along with the opportunity to pursue my passions of writing and teaching. Had my work contract continued indefinitely, I might have stayed on, going through the motions—content, yet unfulfilled.

Maybe you’re in a similar situation, with fear and depression threatening to take hold. My prayer is that you’ll find a gift in the midst of your loss. Take this time to consider what’s really worth living for. Use this season to find your purpose and establish your priorities. Loss can be an opportunity if you let it.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth…he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:1-2, 7-8)