Depression

Stars Without Makeup

Masquerade from Google Images There’s something more captivating about one picture of a star without makeup than all the paparazzi’s red carpet photos combined. What is it that makes the headline “Stars Without Makeup” such a common theme in modern media? It’s the opportunity to see beyond the air-brushed mask of idyllic glamour into the reality of what these stars really are…human.

Sometimes while standing in the checkout line, I catch a glimpse of a de-glammed star photo and something tugs at my heart. Compassion, maybe. I feel for that person behind the mask who lives in a prison of luxury, shackled to the trappings of fame—a slave of the ever-watching world..

If you look closely enough, beyond the smiles on even a glammed-up photo, you’ll see the sadness. The emptiness. The loneliness and disappointment. The toll that stardom has taken on a mere mortal. It’s something reminiscent of the story of King Midas, who in his lust for gold lost all that really mattered to him.

This looking beyond masks applies to us regular folk, too. We all wear masks sometimes. But the trained eye of true love can see beyond.

There was a woman on the run, in the desert, fighting for her life and that of her son. God met her in the desert with a display of tender compassion that nourished her soul and brought her back to life. There, in her deepest place of desperation, she bestowed this name upon her rescuer: “The God who sees.”

He sees into our hearts—our deepest places of darkness, and loves us still—bidding us to discard our masks and come as we are. Empty. Broken. Yet free. True love SEES.

“She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Genesis 16:13)

True Love…SEES (Day 6, #50ShadesOfTrueLove)

Love Grieves

Grieving from Google Images I used to be funny. Really, I did. You wouldn’t know it, because I usually couldn’t remember how the joke started, let alone the punch line. Still, I loved to laugh and to make people laugh. But somewhere along the way, I saw the world for what it is. Went on a few mission trips, saw the depths of poverty. Lived in the inner city surrounded by gang violence and drug addiction and children alone on the streets at one in the morning. Learned about human trafficking and saw it happening before my very eyes when I was powerless to intervene. And I stopped laughing so much.

Most specifically, I remember my first trip to Amsterdam. The first day, on a tour bus viewing some famous landmarks, knowing there were slaves in chains behind the façade. The tour guide made a casual remark about how free and happy their society was, noting with pride their legalization of prostitution. And I thought—doesn’t she know that the majority of these women are victims of human trafficking? Deceived into the lifestyle by the promise of good and reputable work. Torn from their families by a bold-faced lie. Abducted. Exploited. Enslaved.

In the evenings our church group went to the place where girls as young as 12 were imprisoned behind glass doors, in hopes of leading them to freedom. One of the girls we talked to broke down in tears because she wanted to get out of there but was afraid her pimp would beat her to death if she left. Most nights, I went back to my room and spent the night crying.

It’s not that I spend every day all mopey and depressed. If you know my kids, you know how impossible that would be. They’re a reminder of the good things in this world—those things worth fighting for. But knowing the evils I’ve seen exist in rampant measure around the world, there is always a heaviness burdening my heart. And I can’t let it go.

There is so much to be grateful for, and yet I’m reminded of how even Jesus wept. He sat on the hillside overlooking the city, longing to gather its people in his arms. Grieved over the hypocrisy of the religious and the brokenness of the sinners. He wept for the things of the world that are not as they should be, because humankind insists on living for self, which inevitably leads to suffering. True love grieves, knowing that life and love could be so much more than what they’ve become in human hands. True love hurts, torn by the sharp-edged pieces as we join in the struggle to mend our broken world.

There’s a time for joy, yes. But there’s a time to grieve. I still want my sense of humor back. But I never want to forget the pain that reminds me what true love is.

True Love…GRIEVES (Day 3, #50ShadesOfTrueLove)

A Love that Satisfies
AJ_Hearts

Lonely Heart from Google Images

There was a woman so despised and rejected that she lived in the shadows of her own world. When she needed water from the well, she went only when everyone else was gone. She didn’t want to interact with anyone, because those interactions left her feeling branded, guilty, shameful and worthless.

Most of her life, she searched for love in empty wells—in human relationships destined to run dry. Her source of significance was her beauty and the acceptance of the men she attracted because of it. But it was a trap. After several broken relationships, she had become the scorn of society. And still, she hadn’t found the water she was looking for—the kind of love that could quench her thirst and replenish her soul.

One day at the well, she met a man who knew everything about her, yet loved her with a love that was different from any man she’d met. He wasn’t pursuing her for what she could offer him, and he wasn’t condemning her for what she’d given away to others. This man was offering a love that could transform her completely and eternally, that would change her appetites and restore her dignity.

His name was Jesus. And His love is a well that never runs dry.

We often spend our lives in futility, running after things that only leave us weary and dry. Exhausted from empty pursuits, we collapse before the well meant to quench our thirst. Yet we keep digging, pursuing and laboring in vain—never realizing that our hearts are waiting for love…a love that completes us and satisfies eternally.

God alone can fill that empty void in our hearts. He alone can bring purpose and meaning to our lives. The world may leave us dry, but God’s love is a well springing up to eternal life. When we find it, we find our purpose. We find our healing and our deliverance. We find what we’ve truly been waiting for.

“Jesus answered, ‘Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’ ” (John 4:13-14)

True Love…INFINITELY SATISFIES (Day 2, #50ShadesOfTrueLove)

(Originally Posted by Jen on the Tears of Joy Blog as “Waiting for Love”)

Waiting for Spring

Blog_WinterSpringThe following are words I wrote to a friend who was going through a difficult season where it seemed all signs of life had disappeared. I hope they encourage you, as well—whatever season you’re in…

I’ve been praying for words to encourage you in this challenging season you’re in. Just remember that during the winter, it seems like nothing’s happening. Everything looks dead and barren, cold and empty. But beneath the surface, there’s a lot taking place.The snow is pushing the dead leaves into the ground so they can be used to produce fertile soil. This fertile soil will produce all the beautiful flowers and leaves and green grass for the spring.

We never know exactly when spring is going to come. The groundhog doesn’t determine it, God does! And it always comes, even if it’s late or unexpectedly early. But it always comes after winter. Our temptation is to give up in the winter—to become cold and die right along with it. But if we give up too soon, we’ll miss the spring that’s right around the corner.

Hebrews 6 says to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. A lot of times we have faith to believe, but we need the patience to wait. I experienced so many set-backs and disappointments while waiting to adopt our children. It was a discouraging process, and it seemed the dream would never come to pass. I almost gave up! But now I am holding God’s promises in my arms.

In order for there to be resurrection (spring), there needs to be death (winter). You may feel like your dreams are dead now, but that only means there’s a resurrection coming! All the great men and women of God throughout history had to go through a season of waiting before the dream HE had for them was fulfilled.

Even John the Baptist began to doubt when he was imprisoned, but Jesus told him “blessed is the man who does not stumble on account of me.” In other words, don’t stumble over your own expectations of what God will do and when He will do it. He will always be faithful, even if He doesn’t work as we expect and in the timing we expect.

(Originally posted by Jen on the Tears of Joy Blog as “Encouragement for the Wait”)

Never Alone

Blog_Christmas_SadHow can we celebrate a season built around relationships and family when we feel alone?  We could be surrounded by people, but still feel like a barren tree in the middle of an empty forest.  The snow is falling all around, and the tree is frozen from the deepest root to the highest branch.  But no one seems to notice.

Just as that tree lost all its leaves in the midst of autumn, we might feel we’ve lost everything and won’t make it through the winter season of bitter coldness and death.  The Bible speaks of a woman who had lost everything in life.  Her name was Anna.  She was widowed only seven years into her marriage, and there is no mention of her having had children.  She stayed in the temple, fasting and praying.  And waiting.

Maybe she watched the people who came to the temple—seeing families with children, and wondering why she suffered such loss in her own life.  In her day, society looked down upon widows and often presumed that some sin led to their desolate condition.  But God saw Anna’s heart, and chose her to be among the first to embrace the child who would one day die to bring salvation to the world.

What was she thinking when she saw the baby?  The Bible doesn’t say except that she “gave thanks to God and spoke of the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.”  To redeem is to take something that is bad and turn it into something that is good.  It’s when God takes the ashes of our lives and turns them into something beautiful; when God uses the death of autumn and the silence of winter to bring about the life of spring.   Anna knew that God was going to take her difficult circumstances and turn them into something good.  And He did.

Just like He did for all those who had gone before her—those who were part of the lineage of the Savior.  Among them were widows who, like herself, had lost everything: Tamar, Ruth and Bathsheba.  Each story in the history of our Savior involves loss, but also reveals how God is able to take the trials of our lives and turn them into testimonies. And each story reminds us that even when we’ve lost everything, we’re never alone.

In the midst of war and battle, drought and famine, slavery and loss, our Savior came.  Our Savior is also called “Immanuel.”  It means “God is with us.”  And He is.

(Originally posted by Jen on the Tears of Joy Blog)

When Your Pain Becomes Fuel for your Fire

Blog_FireHave you ever been through something so painful it was hard to believe anything good could come of it? It felt like the fury of hell was unleashed against you—the forces of evil at war with your soul. Everywhere you turned, you faced a weapon built to destroy your faith.

God’s Word speaks of a time when His people will take the weapons once used against them and use them for fuel: “Then those who live in the towns of Israel will go out and use the weapons for fuel and burn them up—the small and large shields, the bows and arrows, the war clubs and spears. For seven years they will use them for fuel. They will not need to gather wood from the fields or cut it from the forests, because they will use the weapons for fuel” (Ezekiel 39:9-10).

There is no trial so great that God can’t turn it around and use it for good. When seasons turn, you will see the greater purpose for all that you’ve lost. God will enable you, by His grace, to use every weapon once used against you as fuel for your fire.

I’ve heard stories of those who’ve gone through unimaginably dark circumstances, yet their trials birthed in them a passion for something beyond themselves. They chose to take their impossibly difficult circumstance and use it to bring hope and healing. In the midst of their ashes, they found strength and beauty.

Though she had endured the loss of hearing and sight, Helen Keller was able to say, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Though she could not see, she had vision for how her lifelong struggle would be used to bring hope and change to her generation and beyond.

My prayer is that you will find the purpose for your pain. May the Lord open your eyes to see the good that can come from your trial, and enable you to bring hope and healing from the ashes of your suffering. For every weapon forged to destroy your faith, may your faith increase—and may those weapons become fuel that sustains you and brings light to others walking through the dark seasons of life.

(Originally posted by Jen on “Tears of Joy” Blog)

The Gift of Loss

Blog_FlowersIt was the perfect job. The pay was low but sufficient, the hours enough to keep me busy but not overwhelmed. And the opportunity to stay home with my kids outweighed the benefits I didn’t receive. Everything was good until the organization I was working for unexpectedly discontinued funding for the contract.

Fear and depression threatened to take hold. What would we do without the extra income? Where would I find another job that wouldn’t detract from my family? And why did this happen so suddenly?

Somewhere in the midst of it, I stopped checking my email for word of a renewed contract. It was time to move on. As good as the job was, I had to admit it wasn’t my life’s passion. What had come as an unexpected storm was truly a wake up call.

In a scene C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy, the main characters are chased by a lion they’re certain is bent on destruction. It’s not until journey’s end that they realize the lion was chasing them to their destiny while protecting them from the real enemy. In life, trials can be like that lion—pushing us out of our comfort zones, into the place we truly belong while protecting us from that which drains our life.

Looking back, I now see how losing that job was truly a gift. It pushed me to reassess my life, my goals, and my desires. As a result, I’ve had an abundance of needful, quality time with my children along with the opportunity to pursue my passions of writing and teaching. Had my work contract continued indefinitely, I might have stayed on, going through the motions—content, yet unfulfilled.

Maybe you’re in a similar situation, with fear and depression threatening to take hold. My prayer is that you’ll find a gift in the midst of your loss. Take this time to consider what’s really worth living for. Use this season to find your purpose and establish your priorities. Loss can be an opportunity if you let it.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth…he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:1-2, 7-8)