Holidays

What our Kids Really Need

Postcard new year clock‘Tis the season when kids make their lists and we check them twice, determined to please the ones we love with that perfect gift. But before we gear up for another trip to the shopping mall, let’s take the time to stop. Breathe. Put those lists down. And consider.

What is it our kids truly need?

Written between the lines of holiday wants lies something deeper. Something more costly than anything our imaginations can conjure up. Something that can’t be bought at the mall.

My friend once lamented that she got a second job so she could get her kids all they needed, only to find they needed something more. Her hours of labor provided for material things while robbing her family of precious time together. She was slowly losing her kids to technology, and eventually to gangs, drugs, and more. Looking back, her greatest regret was missing out on her kids’ lives for the sake of getting them more stuff.

As we think of the kids in our lives, most everyone would agree one of our greatest endeavors is to make them happy. It’s at this juncture that we stand to lose the very thing we venture to gain. If in pursuit of making our kids happy we rob them of our presence in their lives, we’ve missed our greatest opportunity. What they need is relationship—not with a screen, a gadget, or a piece of plastic, but with the people most important in their lives.

If stacking up gifts under the tree means racking up credit card debt that will consign us to overtime labor in the coming year, it’s not worth it. Deep down, our kids don’t want to be home alone with things while we slave away at the office just to pay it all off. More than our presents, they need our presence. They want, and need, us. IN their lives. It’s the greatest gift we can give, to them…and to ourselves.

My Prayer

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My prayer is that I’ll live a life of gratitude, for the big things and the little things. For the annoying things. And even for the painful ones.

 

Photo Credit: Commons:Photo challenge/2014 – November – Leaves

To Snow or not to Snow

Blog_ChristmasLanternA forecast of sixty degrees and sunny does not make for a happy Midwesterner come Christmastime. We grow up expecting snow as some sort of holiday birthright, our desire for it so great we’ve made it the theme of several songs—though we must admit it’s somewhat contradictory to string Let it Snow, White Christmas, and I’ll be Home for Christmas in the same playlist. Do we really want another Snowmageddon if we’re trying to hit the roads or catch a flight home? That white Christmas we’re dreaming of might mean we won’t be home for Christmas after all. Although this year, it looks like we’re getting more than what we asked for.

The first Christmas happened so long ago, we can’t say with any certainty whether there was snow or not. Snow is rare, though not impossible, in the region where Jesus was born. And some historians suggest his actual birthday was not a winter event.

Whether or not he was born in winter, I find it to be a fitting season for the symbolism of the holiday. The ground covered in a blanket of white is reminiscent of God’s promise, “though your sins are like scarlet, they will be white as snow.” That’s why Jesus came. And a hero who would live to die for the salvation of the world deserves to be celebrated. I call December 25 Jesus’ birthday observed.

As much as I love the atmosphere of snow during this season, I’ve learned it’s not any more necessary than gifts or decorations. A snowless Christmas can’t take away the symbolism. It can’t erase the story of a baby born to die for our sins. So let it snow, or let it…not snow. I will be grateful for the hope that can thaw the coldest of hearts…a hope that will never melt away.

Stop. Breathe.

blog_christmascandleredBefore we gear up for another trip to the shopping mall, let’s take the time to stop. Breathe. Put those lists down. And consider. What is it our kids truly need?

 

Photo Credit: Candles, Travel, Vacation – Free images on Pixabay

Christmas Debt

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If stacking up gifts under the tree means racking up credit card debt that will consign us to overtime labor in the coming year, it’s not worth it. Deep down, our kids don’t want to be home alone with things while we slave away at the office just to pay it all off.

 

Photo Credit: File:The Shops at Georgetown Park.jpg – Wikimedia Commons

Putting the Giving into Our Thanks

Blog_HarvestFieldThis Thanksgiving season, we’ll be putting a lot of things in our stomachs. The table will be full one moment; our mouths will be full the next. Before we know it, we’ll be more stuffed than the turkey. But before we put all that extra stuffing into our bodies, why don’t we consider what we can put into our thanks?

“Thanks” is something that’s meant to be given. Sometimes it will be easy; sometimes it won’t. It’s easy to be grateful when everything is going as we desire. But what if things aren’t happening just like we hoped they would? What if the “table” is empty of a mouthwatering feast, and filled only with bitter herbs?

In God’s word, we learn that thanksgiving will sometimes be a sacrifice: “…let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name” (Hebrews 13:15). When we’re going through fiery trials, it can be a challenge to maintain a heart of gratitude. Giving thanks in difficult times may be the hardest thing we’re asked to do, and yet it is the very thing that will help lift the burden of a heavy heart.

When our prayers have not been answered as we expected, or in the timing we hoped for, we can always remember the words of Helen Keller: “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” I’ve learned from experience that every closed door leads to a greater open door, and that for every unfulfilled longing a deeper need is met. Knowing this can help us to be grateful even for the closed doors in our lives.

Even if all we have has been taken from us, no one and nothing can take away a heart of gratitude. We can understand the importance of being thankful, but it’s not genuine until we actually GIVE thanks—especially when it’s difficult. This Thanksgiving and beyond, let’s celebrate by putting the giving into our thanks.

(Originally posted on the Tears of Joy blog)

Thanksgiving, Hold the Whine

Blog_NoWhiningA bad experience accidentally sampling wine as a six-year old permanently scarred my taste buds against any desire for it. The only association I now have with the drink is…yuck. But there’s something I like less: the kind of wine spelled with an “h”.

As much as I despise whining, I find myself doing an awful lot of it. Didn’t I just do the dishes? How did the laundry basket fill up so fast? Why does the alarm have to go off so early every day? Does the cat really have to cough up a hairball every morning? Do I have to whine about everything? (Yes, I even annoy my own self with my whining.)

The controversy over coffee cups devoid of holiday images stirred my awareness of just how ridiculous whining can be. Really? Complaining about a cup? Why can’t we just be grateful we have sufficient income to purchase overpriced lattes when more than half the world hopes for one good meal a day? Why can’t we focus our energies on something more productive, like helping the poor or fighting the gross injustices of our generation?

A perceptive children’s author wrote a poem about WHYning and Complaining. Most of our whining is just that. WHYning. Wondering WHY the world can’t be more conducive to our own comfort, security, needs, and desires. Otherwise known as…discontent.

I’ve decided once and for all to stop all my WHYning. After all, the sink is full of dishes because I have an amazing family who just ate a great meal together. An overflowing laundry bin means we have enough clothes to keep us warm each day of the week. That aggravating alarm goes off so early because I have a job I love, and income as a result. And the cat? Well, the kids love her.

My prayer is that I’ll live a life of gratitude—for the big things and the little things. For the annoying things. And even for the painful ones.

As my favorite holiday approaches, I want to serve up a platter of thanksgiving. Hold the whine.